I am not

I am not a toy
At your fucking disposal
You will not decide 
How worthy I am today
Or tommorow
Or ever
You will never reduce me to a ignored phone call
A disregarded text message
A quick glance in the hallways 
When my only crime
Was giving you my attention
Was for my genuine intentions
Was treating you like how a person was meant to be treated
Was loving you 
Loving you a little more then I loved myself
So you can only imagined how I felt
When you treated her like everything
Leaving me here like I was nothing 
Not a damn thing 
worth mentioning  to your little immature friends 
Who can only dream of finding someone like me
Who would go that hard for someone like you 
My heart aches for you each night 
And I just want to hold you 
But if I have to rent parts of you
Then I don't want none of you
Your name shouldn't be synonymous  to pain
And being with me shouldn't never make you feel shame
Your heart was never something i tried to tame 
Instead I gave you space when you asked for it
I gave you more when you couldn't 
You took a huge chunk when u swore it was only a bite
And you probably never knew
But I cried about it every night 
I am not a toy
At your fucking disposal
You don't decide when your done playing with me
Leaving me in your toy trunk full of your insecurities and shortcomings
You should of seen this coming 
This wasn't a surprise 
When my heart whispers
It's final goodbye


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741