Does a fallen tree make sound?
Not if there’s no one around to hear it.
I’ve been dropped repeatedly
Like a case full of bad habits that no one wants to hang on to
And no one pauses to hear me hit the ground.
I’m a mark on the sidewalk
On the road of wrong turns.
People step on me—
I’m a weed, a pest
That you call the exterminator to drown in bug spray
I latch onto your insecurities
And breed new ones to kiss away the delicacy of your certainty
I roam around, an empty shell
Tripping over the remains of the past
Wishing I could gather up the sorrows of goodbyes in my hands
And blow them to the harsh winds
To be carried away to the meadows of blooming flowers
Where beauty overcomes tragedy
Where mistakes are greeted with absolute forgiveness
I question the validity of emotions
Are they simply easy to remove?
Are feelings just wet bandaids with bad adhesive covering up old scars?
Are they temporary solutions to deep rooted pain and regret?
Or are they vastly complex except when applied to me?
If “the marks humans leave are too often scars”
Then why is your skin so clean
When I could be the college paper of last night efforts and mountains of added red pen?
A quick thrown together, half assed pursuit of human with flaws the size of glaciers—
If nature is accurate in its natural selection
Is that why I’m the runt that keeps getting tossed from the nest?
Neglect to inform me that I have wings
And their defining purpose of survival
Allow me to crash through branches
Landing on an Earth who rejects my search for happiness
Who mocks my suffering with the retellings of the joyful
Give me the chance to flap my broken wings
In hopes the air will pull weakness from my limbs
And make me soar
Perhaps with reckless abandon
The romanticism of my journey
Will meet the adoration of my misguided peers
“My incredible strength” to overcome
The challenges of my existence
Fighting false hopes with dreams washed away
With tears forming tides
That refuse to drag the sails of inconsistencies
Of fantasized good times
In the end, I’m just a girl
With no specific memories of abandonment
Just a constant plague of hopelessness
That I cover with smiles and laughs
And strangely I can hear the echoes of the world laughing too…