Hope in the Silence

Hope is a magical word,

Happiness fluttering aghast in the wind

Blowing fears and uncertainty behind me

I see a world reborn

Relentless to strife

As if it has cut away my anxiety like a knife

I open my heart to the unknown

Freedom reaching through every bone in my body

I call out into the night

Letting go of my fight and accepting a moment of peace

Simple and sweet

Like the lips of a lover

Or the coo of a dove

The moon shining bright above my head

Keeps me alive

I look around at it all

This world so bright and new

Wondering how I could have ever had such hatred in my heart

I start to stand up from the ground

When I hear pound-ing on my bedroom door,

Where before my spirits soared,

I am now left confused and concerned

I thought they might’ve learned

To not make empty promises…

But my mom makes them daily

Not even noticing

“We will always love you”

She says and smiles as I walk out the door then she continues with more:

“We love you so so much, unconditionally”

I smile as I head down the street

Thinking of the long road ahead of me,

My head spasming the words back at me flashing in brightness




The words like fire in my mind

I thinking I’m breaking

Start shaking

They’ll think I’m faking for attention

I have to get out of here

I peer out of my eyelids squeezed shut to see the bus pull up at the corner of my street

Barely feeling my feet as I walk up the steps and to my seat.

I repeat in my head over and over again




I’m holding on to my very sanity like a tight-rope wire




Don’t let them think you’re just a crier

You have to hold your feelings in

To even begin to be seen as male

All hale my good ol’ friend dysphoria


This poem is about: 
My family


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