Fifteen, my body curved like a question mark as you delegate my presence to your fingers like a Jesus prayer.
Smashed together our formalities with insinuations of innocent delusions of connections that grow parallel to where we both stand
Five years ripped steel bars through your rib cage like bible scriptures
Psalms in palms where you found God in dark corners
your hands wrapped around your addiction
Forget what you remember of chubby cheeks, plastic rims and upward eyes
Am no longer here for your bereavement of child like fantasies, fetishes and sex drives on over load
Come and sit with me
Engage in the fullness of my lips
With jagged lines
And like coke ill inhale you
Exhale stale conformity and your words so easily molded me.
I can’t be your paramour
Praying to a man to love me
Hoping he won’t
Dark refrigerators play dirty hands
Dirtier finger nails
On dirt outlines of chalk bodies of this body… needed a change
I won’t wait by phones, won’t say yes
I will deliberately whisper no
Mean less to you
Start over… no four leaf clovers
However clever we seem, we aren’t magicians of time captures in photos with bad lighting
Want to start over
Need to know what you think as my breath tells the story of my child hood lost innocence.
Twisted around your white knuckles like ghosts with mommy syllables
We are twisted as burnt spoons and forgotten needles
This high Not high enough.