Guilt Laced Tears

Back to the pen and paper to write this last chapter.

A year ago life as I knew it came to an end.

You don’t need a summary, you know…

But what you don’t know is how I have dealt,

Or rather not…

I have let my overbearing sympathy break, and turn…

Turning into resentment and anger.

Attempting to fill the void, there have been others

But there has not been another you

Subliminally refusing to open up,

I have become my feelings

Becoming what I have been holding inside

No longer can I hold in my resentment…

I don’t want to be angry anymore.

 

You deserve your peace, and I my peace of mind

I’ve accepted that seeing you in passing is just fine,

That your family is nothing but ordinary

And the memories…

A fleeting reminder of the best times..

A mark for comparison.

 

No more guilt laced tears

 

You were the largest challenge I’ve ever accepted and overcome.

Being with you, and without you was both the best and worst times of my life

But I am here to say I sincerely wish the best for you

For the first time…I can say

I am happy to see your smile

 

I love you.

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