There once was a Humpty,
With the last name of Dumpty.

Dressed in fine, red silk with a golden crown upon his head,
He was the worst king who ever lead.

With his pearly, white body and rosy, red cheeks,
He sat on his wall week after week.

Bossing his kindhearted knights around,
He never stepped one foot on the ground.

His eyes, piercing yellow from a lack of rest,
It’s no surprise he was never his best.

His face, full of wrinkles with a pig nose,
His lips were stained red like a rose.

He was known throughout the kingdom for his notorious greed,
He continually slacked off on all of his deeds.

The whole kingdom ran starved and amuck,
While he sat and ate his platter of duck.

Humpty Dumpty had gold jewelry and black-tipped shoes,
But he would trade it all for a bottle of booze.

Humpty was of the partying kind,
Drinking any eggnog he could possibly find.

He was arrogant from dusk to dawn everyday,
Not knowing that he soon would pay.

So all the King’s Knights, and all the Kingdom‘s men,
Plotted to bring him down at a quarter to ten.

They knew they could get him really drunk,
And of course he acted like an ignorant punk.

His plump, round stature wobbled across the wall,
And his stout arms and legs couldn’t prevent his great fall.

Humpty’s egg skin shattered everywhere,
And the whole kingdom filled the town square.

The crown and jewels that he would always wear,
Were tarnished with his robe that began to tear.

He demanded his men help put him back together,
But they left him there to endure the weather.

Humpty Dumpty was washed away by the rain,
taken from his kingdom in vain.

In the end there is a moral as you see,
Being selfish comes with a very high fee.