You've never stopped being my soul mate
For 40 years .
As corny as that sounds
And you would laugh at me if I said it.
But the butterflies never quit in my stomach,
Memories of you pop in and out of my head
Once a day,
Twice a day
Sometimes all day long
And our last meeting 4 years ago was magical
You kissed me like I never knew what a kiss was

You're a blistering racist, bigot and a narcissistic Trumper
You were hard on me, I was hard on you back
We argued
We got over it.
You kept calling, texting, causing feelings to bubble up again
Is this a toxic relationship?
Yes
Is this an all consuming bad romance?
Yes.

But my stupid fucking heart will not let go of
Your deep  sexy voice

That causes me to lose my sense of balance
And good judgement
Your arms around me felt like home.
Your command to tell you what I'm wearing
  ( a smile was the correct response)
made me forget my own name
Even if you are 90 anď wheelchair bound, I'd still love you. ( wow )

You worshipped me when we were young.
I still love you now beyond reason
If you called and said, "I need you"
I'd drop everything and run
Knowing full well my brain is not involved in the conversation
I've told myself to stop loving you
But it's like asking a tree not to change its leaves.
I've picked up the phone and texted you zillions of times
But never sent it

Because we are not meant to be.
You are you and not mine to have..
But I have experienced deep love,
A childlike giddiness
Reserved for rockstars.
I'm glad I did not miss it.