Gamble

I wake up knowing that I don't have to worry anymore about whether or not I am loved by someone.

When the sun would shine its rays through my blinds, I would look away in fear of witnessing another day alive.

The walls were once my friends because everyday and every night, they saw every tear that fell down my cheek and the cuts I made on my legs.

I once strolled the same path I walk everyday with my head down, wondering if today was the day I would finally end my life.

The drugs would light up those sleepless nights like a thousand rows of slot machines with no windows to view the outside.

Each night, I would roll the dice for my life and I was willing to take the risks if it meant I could become numb if even just for a moment.

Then I met you.

My mornings began with greetings and ramblings of the previous nights dreams that showed I am the person they think of first thing in the morning.

I welcome each sunrise because that means another day I am blessed to spend on this Earth with you.

I spend more time with you than I spend alone and no longer do I have to rely on the walls because there you are with open arms.

Even on the days I am not lucky enough to be in your presence, I walk surrounded in the love I feel from you.

Those drugs turned to soft kisses that I became addicted to and hugs that opened a door to seeing the world as it should be: loving and being loved.

Rolling dice fade to us rolling in the sheets to hold one another for another night we get to enjoy feeling nothing but love.

You helped mold me into the beautiful and strong person I am today because I took a chance to love you -

And it may have been the best gamble I've ever made.

This poem is about: 
Me

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