lately, things have been a little too much for me.

i havent been the happiest

and i had no explanation on why,

nor have i wanted one,

ive just felt lonely and out of place.

i dont want you feeling pity for me though,

im telling you this because, if i didnt,

id just isolate myself even more.

and thats not okay.

i know that now.

 

as things have been so much for me lately

i havent had time to sit

and breathe

and think.

ive been stuck in my head when i should be focused on my lungs.

i cried instead of leaving my room.

ive isolated instead of let go.

 

but as i sit here, watching the sun set

i finally took the time to clear my head.

i let myself go to places i havent had the time to focus on.

i closed my eyes and breathed in the air.

i smelled the freshly cut grass and dusk-

it brought me to my childhood

where i lay on my best friends trampoline, shivering slightly as it was always cold after sunsets, looking up at the sky and mountains, not knowing that i was so lucky

to be a child.

 

i felt the soft breeze cradle my legs-

it took me to summer evenings

which were spent with my family

hidden in the mountains and trees

skipping rocks in the river and roasting marshmallows

then wrapping myself in a blanket that smelled of campfire smoke, and falling asleep with my dogs curled up next to me

 

i looked at the sun sinking behind the mountains-

it reminded me of a few things,

i saw your sweet smile when i tell you i love you,

i felt a warm embrace of something i havent encountered in a long time,

and

i was reminded

that love doesnt always have to be loud

it can be soft

and quiet.

so quiet you can barely hear.

but its just as powerful as any other type of love.

so,

if you dont mind,

is it okay if i love softly for a while?