thoughts of my consciousness dare me to be different
while my actions are persistent
thoughts of my consciousness dare me to say no
while my body says i'll control
thoughts of my consciousness dare me to stand
while my will falls
i crawl
to him
but my legs in chains
invisible pains
burdens that reign
over me
and

only me

correcting and directing me
never proud to be
stalling and surpressing
never proud to be
denying, enhancing
still never proud of me
never amounting
thus still reaching
preaching
in hopes of changing
crying followed by thinking
hoping followed by wishing
smiling followed trusting
in him.