Every Rolling Meadow that I Am
Location
I could pass an hour telling you
what’s wrong with me, delving
into every nook of my weaknesses, every
cranny between my ribs. I could pass a day, if
you had the time, if you wanted the evidence,
to revel in it with me, beside me. I could pass a lifetime
doling out that part of me, believing it’s nothing
but the truth, believing I am nothing
but my flaws, carving craters
with this shovel of self-doubt and running my fingers
over those pockmarks as a way to remind myself
that they’re there, that they control me,
that I, myself, dug them into existence.
It’s hard, for me, to listen to my petals, to happily collapse,
my aching knees caving into the glistening
and supple earth that I am. There are dandelions
in my soul, I know, daisies along the clanking gears
of my mind, and my snapdragon lips
were made for kind words, for laughing,
for the color pink that tints a smile, for greater things.
I must extend beyond myself. I am a prairie
full of wildflowers, soft grasses swaying, giddy
on the wind. I am the sunset, sliding downwards,
turning the world orange wherever I touch it–and I am the moon
with a serene brilliance. When I push myself down,
a new version of me should rise.
I am expansive. That’s the whole truth. I fly
beyond my flaws, stretching
between seas, and over them. My stretch marks
only tilt their purple paintbrushes across my skin
because I will never stop growing–because tomorrow,
I will be better–because tomorrow,
I can be brilliant, because my rises
and sets are a cycle of beauty, because
I am loved, and loveable, even if
I can’t love myself yet–tomorrow
I will embrace every rolling meadow that I am,
and I will learn to appreciate every twilight glimmer
of myself.