Every night I lie awake,
Unable to go to rest.
Every night I make choices,
Choices that change my life forever.
Every night I think of my mistakes,
Trying to figure out what I can do to fix them.
Every night I point out all of my physical flaws,
trying to imagine what I would look like if I was beautiful.
Every night I turn my music up loud,
Hoping it will tune out the world.
Every night I try to figure out what's missing,
Unwilling to discover what's right in front of my face.
Every night I remember my family,
Afraid if I don't think of them, I will lose them.
Every night I feel disgusted,
On how I let a guy treat me.
Every night I try to escape the mess I've created,
But instead I just make it bigger.
Every night I lie to myself,
Saying everything will be okay.
Every night I hurt myself,
Punishing myself for what I've done.. And what I haven't.
Every night I promise myself I'll change,
But by morning I forget the night.
This is an older poem of mine. I'm not sure if I'm going to put all of my older stuff on here, but I want to share some of them. They are glimses into different parts of me and my life. I'd like to share that with others. I hope whoever reads them, enjoys them. This is me.