Every Night

Location

Every night I lie awake,
Unable to go to rest.
 
Every night I make choices,
Choices that change my life forever.
 
Every night I think of my mistakes,
Trying to figure out what I can do to fix them.
 
Every night I point out all of my physical flaws,
trying to imagine what I would look like if I was beautiful.
 
Every night I turn my music up loud,
Hoping it will tune out the world.
 
Every night I try to figure out what's missing,
Unwilling to discover what's right in front of my face.
 
Every night I remember my family,
Afraid if I don't think of them, I will lose them.
 
Every night I feel disgusted,
On how I let a guy treat me.
 
Every night I try to escape the mess I've created,
But instead I just make it bigger.
 
Every night I lie to myself,
Saying everything will be okay.
 
Every night I hurt myself,
Punishing myself for what I've done.. And what I haven't.
 
Every night I promise myself I'll change,
 
But by morning I forget the night.
 
 
This is an older poem of mine. I'm not sure if I'm going to put all of my older stuff on here, but I want to share some of them. They are glimses into different parts of me and my life. I'd like to share that with others. I hope whoever reads them, enjoys them. This is me.

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741