Emotionless

I'm always getting hurt
No matter who it is;
My brother,
My sister,
My father,
My mother....
I don't know what I did to deserve this
Always getting the worst of someone's anger
Can I really be that obnoxious?
But it's not about me, or the self pity I am feeling for myself
It's about them and their belt emotions lashing out at me
I'm going to stop crying now
Emotions are useless
They are a sign of weakness
I will not be weak
This is why I keep a cool facade
I always let myself feel to much
I can only allow myself to feel for one
The only one who does not hurt me like the rest
Only he never takes his anger out on me
Why is it that when it boils down, he is always the one who is there for me?
The only one who can attend to my needs and by him attending to my needs, he is satisfying his own
I will allow emotions for him
It would be impossible not too
It is impossible to stop my emotions for anyone I love
Even when they slap me in the face with anger so soft yet so harsh against my skin
I don't get upset over the biggest of spiteful tongues
Only the gentle whispering of frustration
that becomes an echoing in my ear
And I hurt
I am over dramatic
But it is something about those small things that hurt me so much
I am not going to allow myself to be hurt anymore
No emotions.
I will be emotionless

Guide that inspired this poem: 

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741