Embarking on My Journey

Wed, 03/25/2020 - 08:11 -- NodLoc

Here it goes

My name has been called

No, not by my pessimistic professors,

Not by my mother’s irritation.

It’s being called by a higher being

You see, I am but a small piece

A cog placed imperfectly in a perfectly designed machine;

Designed, built, and tested by God

I may be an engineer at heart,

But I will never create anything as significant as God’s ongoing plan.

Yet I still want to hold on to something

This something is the same thing that

Allows celebrities to sit in the lap of luxury.

I don’t fantasize about having gold plated plates and jewel-encrusted pens pouring silver ink.

I’m looking for security.

Although I still don’t know what that means to me.

But I do understand that God is the only one who can reveal to me an abundance of prosperity and security. Yet I’m still fighting, resisting, and rebelling against Him because I have this constant itch on my flesh that keeps begging for me to scratch it.

All in all, I am but a pawn in a game mastered by the king of kings.

This isn’t a game of chess but rather the world is full of strategic chance.

We move in the circumstances of our free will within the bounds of destiny.

And I must Obey Him and pray before I embark on my own journey.

Even though I’m confident that I can endure,

I fear my endurance will waver.

I don’t want to be the weak, little child I once was who quit everything he wasn’t good at. I fear that I will repeat a cycle of beginning something just to end it 6 days later, failing to realize that only God can make a universe of things happen in that time.

I still push myself beyond limits that I know I’m not supposed to pass.

It’s crazy but I feel as though my blessings are beating me up because it has put me in a position to bless others.

I keep trying so hard to prove myself worthy of God’s grace, but I’m so unworthy.

It reminds me of a time when I said I’m not THAT spiritual, I’m just religious.

And whenever I forsake God, I can only be so grateful for his forgiveness.

It’s a miracle that I’m here before you. But a mustard seed of faith has the potential to become a forest of opportunity.

And opportunity is a lonely stranger begging me for action. I’m afraid this knock at my door is more than just a potential threat, ready to rob me of my joy.

But overcoming hardship is what man holds as its greatest accomplishment. We treat the amount of money we have as a measure of self-worth. It’s funny because even the most illustrious millionaires have worthless mentalities.

In reality, the meaning of life is what you make it. But our purpose is to serve God, yet we contradict our righteous faith with selfish acts.

We can never progress if we continue our passive-aggressiveness toward our faith. In the end, it’ll come down to you and God. And he will recount your memories for you from beginning to end.

How do you want to be remembered, a shallow pool of mundane clichés or a spiritual well of infinite depth?

I stand here asking this question knowing that it’s worth it. And even though I’m not perfect, at least I can say I’m working to become one with Him.

United we stand, and divided we lose…each other, Him, and ourselves. So please choose…

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family
My community
Our world

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