It's my time to be heard

 

As a friend, you've given me promises

Enough to fill three lifetimes

You promised me you wouldn't drop out of school

You promised me you wouldn't go back to that boyfriend, that scumbag

You promised me you would be okay

You promised me that you didn't want to die

 

Do you know what a broken promise means?

It means broken trust

I've had enough of broken promises

 

So listen up

 

"I feel alone."

"Like, I have no friends."

"I'm sorry I'm such a nuisance."

"I'm sorry I exist."

How many times do I have to hear you give up?

How many times do I have to carry the burden?

How many times do I have to hate myself when I want to leave and never look back?

How many do I have to wait in the dark hoping you'll text back this time?

How many times do I have to feel like I don't know what to do?

 

How many times do I have to speak before you listen?

 

Do I have to scream? Shout?

There's a wall of glass between us 

The bulletproof kind

You see me and my mouth moving

But you can't hear a sound.

 

Always searching for an answer

Without even knowing your question

What are you searching for?

Love? Acceptance?

You're not gonna find that in a boyfriend who doesn't give two shits about you

You're not gonna find that between the wounds on your wrist

You're not gonna find that in the smoke in your lungs and the pill in your mouth

You're not gonna find that in parents who refuse to see what's in front of them

 

You're not gonna find that because you've already tried

 

But maybe you can find that in a friend. Or maybe two? Or three?

Maybe you can find that in your dreams, the grand golden kind

Maybe you can find that in your soul

 

Maybe you can find Hope

 

The Hope to love

The Hope to be accepted

The Hope to accept

The Hope to laugh

The Hope to cry

The Hope to question

The Hope to answer

The Hope to get up every morning and believe you can live another day

 

The Hope to speak and have someone listen

Are you listening?

 

It's your time to be heard.