The alphabet is easy.

It is one of the first things we are taught.

All the letters are equal.

All letters are important.

All letters are beautiful.

Each one sings a graceful tune.

 

But letters are getting harder.

Different sounds mean the same thing.

The same sound means different things.

Double yous are slow.

Esses can be soft or sinister.

Kays are sharp and hard.

Each one hums an uneasy tune.

 

Now there are 5 letters.

And each one means only one thing.

They are easy to understand.

They are hard to comprehend.

Ays are astonishing.

Bees are basic.

Cees are catastrophic.

Dees are detrimental.

Effs are febrile.

I am exhausted.

 

My letters are gone.

Their colors are fading.

Their harmonies collapsing.

 

Oh no.

Another letter comes.

It is the Eee.

What does it mean?

“Elementary,” says a clear and terrifying voice.

What happens if I get an Eee?

Silence.

What happens if I get an Eee?