I feel like I am drowning,
Though no water is present,
But the feeling of this darkness crushing me
Is not very pleasant.
Somehow, the sinister mist of my own thoughts
Has wrapped itself around my throat,
And made its way to my hands,
Which then this last note wrote.
Like a marionette doll,
It controls me and takes away my life’s meaning,
Though all those around me,
Can not recognize the pain I am feeling.
Sweet release of this torture comes only in the form
Of nooses, or knives, or pills, or guns,
Surely pain will subside,
When my course on earth is done.
But when if I passed on,
The darkness would still remain,
Taking hold of my loved ones,
Putting them in my chains.
So for now I will suffer,
Though my outlook is grim,
For though I am drowning,
Faith and family have taught me to swim.