ah hem

who the FUCK do you think you are?

hahaha oh waitttt i KNOW who you think YOU are...

ah hem 

who the FUCK do you think i am?

YOU think you are the funny guy, cracking a few jokes, gettin a few laughs from the ladies, slapping a few high fives

you think EYE am here for your entertainment. PRAISE GOD a joke has just presented itself in the form of this human being from detroit

wow so much material!

you start off with a few:

1. have you ever been shot?
2. how many times?
3. where?
4. can i see the scars?
5. are you allowed to go outside alone?
6. how many times has your car been stolen?
7. how did you make it out of the city alive?
8. does anybody even live there anymore?
9. do you have neighbors

or maybe it’s none of those, instead you give me that GOT DAMN side eye that says:

this bitch is crazy, what the fuck were her parents thinking, they’re insane, they must be mentally retarded for raising a child in such a dangerous place

now: let’s be reasonable, the first 28,000 times i smile i laugh along, i take it, i calmly answer your questions. but time 28,001?

who the FUCK do you think i am.

this is where i live. this is where the people i love live. this is who i am. this is my childhood. this is my home. this is a place precious to me.

at the end of the day, i know what you’re trying to say is that you’re jealous. ya mad bro!

you’re mad because

you don’t have stevie

you don’t have aaliyah

you don’t have marvin gaye, diana ross, smokey robinson

you don’t have j dilla

you don’t have doughboy quis

you don’t dog hoes

and you don’t get that reference because you’re not from here.

feel bad for you.

you don’t know what the lodge is. 

you don’t know what the set is.

and i pray for you, because you don’t know what coney is.

so the next time i’m in a job interview and you ask me how many times i’ve been shot after you’ve asked where im from?

i’m going to ask you the way to the door.