Decisions Surround us everyday. whether or not we make a good decision is entirely up to us.
I've made bad decisions. I let the bullies at school and at my house dictate how i felt. And I felt so bad about myself that i wanted everything to cease.
I made the attempts that most don't talk about. And by the grace of God i am here today to tell you that although I still have momentas where I loathe myself. I know deep down that those decisions that once seemed like the only option are no longer a possibilty.
I've racked my brain so many times to try and figure out why I wanted to die so bad. The only answer I get is the way I felt as a result to my mothers hurtful words. This isn't a sob story and I wouldn't blame for thinking i'm stupid, but I need to tell someone, so that maybe someone who was in y shoes wont have to make those same awful decisions i made.
Words do hurt regardless of what people tell you. You can paint on a smile but at the end of the day you feel hurt. It's your decision to paint the face and pretend that everything is alrighy instead of standing up and saying how you feel.
I hope those reading take my warning, death is not the answer. Talking to someone. I don't mean a shrink or you parents. but someone who will listen....
Thats all I wanted but I didnt get it... i still dont have it...