dear past me,

it's been tough

 

you've endured so much pain

for one so young

 

it sounds cliche 

but you and i both know that it's true

 

you've dealt with a lot 

 

a lot of anxiety

 

a lot of deployments

 

a lot of embarrassments

 

a lot of stress

 

and on top of all of this

 

you're dealing with an eating disorder

and it's getting bad

 

you don't think so yet

 

but trust me

 

you'll regret this later

 

now tell me,

 

does the weight loss make you feel better about yourself?

are you happier?

 

no

you know you aren't happier

you know something's off

 

this isn't healthy

 

don't let this spiral

 

pull up

just like an airplane

 

pull yourself out of this

 

and even though you'll gain back all of that weight

 

and even though you'll have to go through therapy

 

and even though you'll have to go through a lot of pain

 

and even though you'll think it's time to quit

 

never quit on yourself

 

 

your life is worth it

 

our life is worth it

 

there is help out there for you

there are people who care

there are people who are dealing with the same problems you are

 

find those people

befriend those people

support and be supported by those people

 

you're doing well

staying strong doesn't mean you have to bottle it all up

staying strong means you know when it's too much

staying strong means remembering that you can do it

 

give it time

you'll do fine

 

with love,

future you