Trust is like some bittersweet cupcake that I can’t sink my teeth into.
Tempting, as most unattainable things are, but vile.
It’s something you try to shove down my throat with sharp and cutting thrusts,
Just until I can close my eyes and swallow.
Your Heimlich turns into a hug,
And you're singing softly in my ear,
“Trust me, darling, trust me.”
But one way
Or the other,
The cupcake always comes back up.
I'm foaming frosting at the mouth like
A thirsty, rabid dog.
Put me out of my misery,
As I regurgitate it,
My eyes watering,
Back stinging,
Dry heaving,
Choking,
And always dissatisfied with myself afterwards.
The blue sprinkles fall from my eyes,
And I crumble from the moisture and your lack of consistency.
Trust chokes me like a noose,
Squeezing out everything I am,
And everything I am not.
The promises,
The secrets?
They all come out.
This scares me.
Trust scares me.
You scare me.
So I avert my eyes,
And plug my ears
To avoid hearing your
Sickeningly
Saccharine
Sweet
Nothings
Because
Some things
Are just too sweet
To be heard.