It started at a young age
I can't quite put my finger on
My mother always told me it was rude to point
But every one of my flaws would soon be pointed out
They say a child isnt a child once they start worrying about what people think
But for as long as I remember
I've always questioned myself
Never feeling good enough
So I fell behind
I would hide and cry
Like a self loathing game of hide and seek
I didn't feel deserving of how I was treated
Constantly wondering if other little girls felt the same

When I danced around my hello kitty painted room
I felt safe
Still I had my ups and downs
And my parents would tell me "turn that frown upside down"
What a cute little rhyme
If only it was that easy for little 'ol me
Running wild and free
I dreamed of being happy
I wasn't like other kids
So I was never really me
I was embarrassed
I shrugged it off, joked and played along
But I couldn't feel at home

Watching high school Disney movies
I picture that would be me
I trusted the silver screen
My glow up would look like this
Still I felt no different
I started to see beauty as the enemy
Damn it really did hate me
Coming all this why just to be shitted on
I was betrayed by myself
I just assumed I was the only one who felt like a burden
Because no one else seemed to understand
No one saw through my fake

Ive never really been scared of anything
I did things children weren't supposed to do
Never a wore a seatbelt
Got in cars with strangers and accepted whatever was offered
Hung out of three story high windows
Ignored all of my senses because I wanted to feel something
Walked across highways and bridges without sight
I even dangled my legs above traffic
I put myself in the position to get hurt

Everyone told me I was mess
I believe it more and more each day
But still no one understands why I am the way I am
If only you knew
The things I put myself threw
I blame myself, along with everybody else
For the way I see me
It isn't my fault
I was only a child then
And a kid shouldn't have to deal with all the hatred I did
Like that fucking rabbit,
I was tricked into thinking I was broken
And if tricks were for kids
I could never be one

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