I should call you Casper

You were a ghost

but, you were a friendly one.

You said boo

I’d say I love you

I said I love you

and you’d say it back

Because it’s easy to says things like that

in a home you’ve already left.

 

You haunted me in the most beautiful way

The type of haunting that wasn’t real,

but, god it felt so good,

and happy.

What reality even matter?

 

When you were living,

we didn’t share an address but, we were living together

Reality as our same roof

And of course, we’d escape from it together as well

 

We talked about how we’d transform these hallways

into fields.

Or how you couldn’t wait for summertime,

when we could be real

and you’d have me all to yourself.

 

That was when your mind still shared those pathways with mine.

In tune to the same frequency of sound

When we both shared that language of ramblin articulation

silent yet spoken contemplation

containing truths so honest it’d make the both of us laugh

And it was a time after the joke was made I embraced the quietude

for the warm energy of your laugh

needed time to resonate

And I could’ve sworn it sounded like the answer to this question called

existence.

When it all seemed to make my heart feel lighter

or maybe a bit more substance

I can’t remember

But,that was when your heart pumped everywhere and not just below the waist

 

Left like a ghost

Don't come back like some Jesus figure

resurrect that bee stinger

like it didn't kill you when you stung me

like it didn't kill you and reborn you into

the arms of your maker

 

I finally moved out

Of that place that has you stained to it

like an aura I couldn't ignore

memories that seemed to stay

even when I knew you wouldn't

 

Once in awhile I visit that place

Because well, I like the way it smelled

and the way sunshine radiated through the windows

and it all made

sense

and it was just so

still.

We wrote poetry throughout the walls

Gently watering love in the soil surrounding this home so that maybe we could protect this treasure we both found

 

Sometimes that place visits me

when I don't wish to reminiscence

because instead of spirits and memories

I see ghosts and the pain of the past that only loss could give to me

I see that to live in that home isn't where I'm supposed to be anymore

 

So now I'm a traveler

I belong to no home

no state

no thing

no one

I'm not lost if I have no set destination

I'm not homeless if my home is

here

 

And Mr Casper moved back in

with what killed him in the earlier years

And maybe found love

or maybe just comfort

because atleast he can be a human boy again under that roof

Maybe his mind is just fine in those walls

 

Maybe he visits our home too sometimes.

Or maybe he tries to forget.

I said the word tries

because anyone who has ever died

knows the only thing we have is the present

but, when past and current coincide

you were indifferent.

the truth has a way of refusing to hide

Maybe that's when I'm a ghost too.

 

Roaming throughout a ship sunk love

Maybe trying to revive some rusting treasure.

Or just some sanity.

How a Casper loved so dearly

How could that life have been so false and empty?

 

But I know a ghost when I feel one

That's why you no longer were a lover

A Casper.

Just a friendly visitor

who cared enough to know what it'd mean to me when you'd take your actual leave.

Except eventually,

eventually

you did.