The beginning of the end

Location

In my feelings
 
I want to scream. 
I want to cry. 
I want to yell at the sky. 
 
It hurts. 
Why does it hurt me 
and not affect you?
 
Why are you so happy and I'm left feeling blue. 
 
You told me you'd be there 
You promised me till the end
 
Guess I was the one who didn't understand
 
That the end could come like a thief in the night 
 
You're the thief, 
If I might
Add a little of the obvious
As your conscious 
works on how it 
got from you to me
 
That our whole relationship
Was a game
As you try to escape the blame
Fidgeting in shame 
Because I know
What you thought was the perfect play
Pushing me away silently
Because there's a new toy
 
Shiny
 better 
new
Don't forget less durable 
And cheaper too
 
I confess it was hard accepting 
But alas I digress
So suppressing that thought
 
Lets get back to what I thought
"Till the end" means
 
I mean
I guess I'm a bit old fashioned
But to me 
It meant until the end of life 
Not to end the life
You were supposed to be saving
 
My life
 
The cold knife of rejection 
Slicing through my veins 
Freezing my vocal cords so I can't scream
 
Even as i wordlessly look up 
and wonder
Why there's no lighting
No thunder 
To strike down this person
who promised to love me
Be there for me
Be honest with me 
till the end
 
Wonder why this person
Is severing our ties
Long and drawn out
Like carving lines
In solid concrete
With a tooth pick
And a sheet
Of weak glass
That breaks into thin shards
That they then shove into me
And leave me to bleed
 
All the while
Not severing the lies
Hiding the truth
I was fun when I could be used
 
So even as my resolve pumps through me 
I'm not going to be the only one to die here
I will not shed a tear
For the person I held dear
Who speared the heart
I thought they were trying to mend
My dear 
My sweet
My dead 
friend
 
Don't get me wrong
We both walked away 
taking in breaths
Still to this day 
 
I left a little colder 
And they left perfectly fine
 
I wasted my time 
And now I know it
But alas I'm instructed not to show it
 
And I won't
Because years from now they'll shed the tears meant for me
Tears because they miss 
what they decided
wasn't meant to be 
 
So for now,
I'll learn to breathe around 
The shards of my broken heart
 
Because I know tomorrow 
I'll be that work of art
 
Priceless
Look but don't touch
 
And you'll curse the day
You decided
What wasn't meant to be
Was you and me
 
Rest easy
While you can
As you slowly die inside
 
Because one day you'll need me
And that's the day you'll know
You'll never see me again
Goodbye
 dear 
friend
 
You dug your grave
So I'd save every breath I can
Because you'll be on your own
And you'll know how it feels to be
Alone
In a crowd of people
Who could care less
 
But again I digress
 
Rest easy
You've wounded me
Though poisoned your own soul
So as I move on and grow
You'll fall still
Prey To your own whims
As the light of your life grows dim 
And  yet fainter still
You'll remember that though I was no saint
 
I was the friend you needed
But you were too conceited 
To realize the best of you
Is me
 
As your heart fails you
You'll realize the grief that ails you
Is karma coming back to haunt you
The way you haunted me
Slit my throat and left me to bleed
 
So rest easy my friend
You were right, we weren't meant to be
 
So goodnight 
It's only the beginning
Of the end

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