Beep Beep

I hear my phone vibrating from the inside of my pocket, and it’s you again.

I shudder at the thought of what cruel message will pop up on my screen this time.

 

“The farmer called and said he saw you eating all of the cows.

Why don’t you throw them up and don’t be too tempted to eat them again”

 

Your words are cutting deep and I try to tell myself they are just words,

but I can’t wrap my head around it.

What did I do?

Don't engaged with them Natalie, Don’t do it!  

You are only making things worse for yourself.

 

My fingers glide across the keyboard

“I dont even eat meat”

This is a lie, but it might work this time

 

Beep Beep

It’s your response

More words, more cruel cruel words

“Go die in a hole, oh wait you’re too fat you wont fit”

 

Once again I try not to respond, but this time the tears are

lodged so far down my throat and it burns,

It burns more than the fire pit of anger in my stomach.

 

Beep Beep

Here we go again

 

“Go die”

Beep Beep

“There’s a cliff over there”

Beep Beep

“You are worse than the person who put hand sanitizer in my water”  

Beep Beep

“No one loves you”

Beep Beep

“Your mom died because she hated you”

Beep Beep

Beep Beep

Beep Beep

Beep Beep

Beep B-

 

Years later, and my phone goes off

 

Beep Beep

 

I fear it’s you even though I changed my number four years ago.

The words you wrote left invisible scars, and in a world of technology

I can’t stomach receiving a text message.

The torture never stopped for me, what about you?