I hear all the time,
"Get your life together, Courtney."
"You have to focus on college, Courtney."
They never ask why I'm acting this way,
or what my jumbled mind is thinking.
"You can talk to us Courtney."
"We're here for you Courtney."
The minute I talk, you shut me down.
I ask questions and get no answers.
You take me the wrong way.
And I never mean to disrespect you, I just like to let you know how I feel.
"I don't care what you have to say Courtney"
"Stop getting loud with me, Courtney!"
But Mom, I only want you to hear that what I'm saying makes sense.
I only want you to hear my side of everything.
Why I do the things I do.
Why it's so hard to control me.
But you dont let me in.
"You're done Courtney!"
"You're moving to your grandmother's Courtney!"
Things were fine just a little while ago.
I'm never disloyal to you, no matter how much I don't trust you.
You've done me wrong and steered me wrong,
but I still love you.
I just wish you would listen,
and things wouldnt have to be this way.
Dad, why don't you say anything?
You do anything she says.
No matter how right, or how wrong.
You know my intentions were always in good heart
But you sit back silently.
How she plots,
and she schemes, and lies.
"You can't make it in this world alone Courtney!"
"You're always going to need us Courtney!"
But the matter of the fact is,
I'm better off without you.
I'll be on my own someday,
and our relationship may heal,
or it may not.
But I'm willing to try when it's time.