I cannot do this

Not anymore

I’ll hate myself

Forevermore

But that won’t help

You know it’s true

Try loving yourself

See what you CAN do

But what have I done?

Only wrong, it’s true

The battle’s won

And I, I am through.

True, the battle’s o’er

And you have lost

But look to your core

And see your hate’s cost.

The cost is great.

I’ve lost myself.

And now I wait

and hate myself.

The cost, t’was high.

And pain how true,

But look and try

To see in rearview

You’ve changed so much

That much is true

But the changes are such

That you are you.

I cannot think

I cannot know

Because I link

In one eternal flow

My thoughts to her

Will always turn.

I am the one who hurt her

That gave her that emotional scar.

I’ve torn her soul

Rent her heart

What was my goal?

I have no heart.

Stop. Just stop with that

It will not help.

You made mistakes.

You hurt someone.

But that’s in the past.

It all is done.

Nothing can change it.

You know now

What you must do

Because you know

That she has hurt too.

 

This battle rages

Inside of me

And in different stages

Each of the views, I see

 

But to which should I listen?

Give greater heed?

To me, each glistens.

Each with comforting creed.

 

But as I try

To change myself

I find each lies

To their own self.

 

How can I now

Know which is true?

Without her, how

Can I make do?

 

This is the war

I fight each day

This battle sore

Has an end, I pray

 

I want it to end

I want to give in

I’m not made to bend.

I’m not made to swim.

 

This endless prattle will soon be done

But this endless battle cannot be won