Bathroom Identity
I’m pretty sure that public bathrooms might just be the most important invention of our modern world,
I mean think about it,
life as we know it would pretty soon becomes qute literal mess without them.
I myself shit four times a day so i could never even leave my house again
And while they are necessary, that doesn't mean they don't have their flaws though, i think every elementary schooler kids biggest fear is walking into the wrong bathroom
And wrong of course meaning a little girl walking in a boys bathroom and a little boy walking into the girls bathroom -
this though isn't THAT much of a problem once the kids grow up, becoming confident in their ability to read the signs posted on the bathroom door, letting them know if the room they are about to enter has a urinal or not.
But what about the kids who never let go of this fear? and yes they do exist im not making this up
They get the jitters every time they need to use a public bathroom and no, its not from having to actually pee, but rather unease of walking into the wrong bathroom
It's the the painful knowledge that they've been using the wrong bathroom, for their whole life.
It’s the boys without Y chromosomes having to face the women's restroom and girls without a pair of X chromosomes having to use the men's restroom
It’s uncomfortable
It’s shameful
It’s full of anxiety
It’s STOP STARING AT ME
I DON”T WANT TO BE IN HERE
I don't want to make you uncomfortable
Just let me pee in peace
This is way worse me me than it is for you i promise
please don't let your daughters point at me and say “mommy mommy why is there a boy in the girls bathroom?” I KNOW I'M IN THE WRONG BATHROOM I KNOW...i know
Peeing is a daily necessity and i shouldn't feel comfortable with my own bodily functions
these rooms weren’t built for people like me
they weren't built for those are questioning their identity
they weren't built with anyone in mind other than those who fit the definition of “normal” well newsflash we can't all fit in a neat box based on what body parts we were born with.
I shouldn't feel like the world is crashing down on my shoulders when i walk into a public bathroom
i shouldn't feel like i need to explain to the mom and her daughter that yes ma'am i know this is the women's restroom and yes ma'am i know i look like a boy it's just well you see ma'am in the eyes of the state i'm a girl because that's what it says on my birth certificate
but in my eyes my gender does not depend on what you was born as, but rather that gender is a state of mind but instead i just say yes ma'am i really am a girl i know my short hair fools you! and laugh it off like it's no big deal
...but while saying those “yes ma'am’s” i feel my sense of self slowing slipping away,because its exhausting not being able to be you even when doing something so basic as peeing.