autism
autism is a spectrum disorder not a curable disease
I overthink the simplest things often blowing them out of proportion
Every little sound seems so much louder to me when a pen falls i hear a clatter while my classmates hear a tap
My poor skin once smooth and pretty is Now riddled with scars and scratches
being bullied because of my autism is A daily reminder i'm not normal
its not a choice not to communicate in truth I hate how socially inept i am it can really suck at times
I want to walk without thinking about not stepping on the sidewalk cracks
youch just tripped while writing this because if i step on a crack i have to go all the way back and start over
trivial activities like starting a conversation cause me anxiety
some days i am shaky all over from the anxiety caused by my efforts to blend in
each day leaves me mentally and emotionally drained from that constant battle to belong
I want to go about my day without having a meltdown
because of a slight schedule change
because i became overwhelmed easily
because i thought i did something wrong
my peers joke about my differences and it hurts
their harsh unaccepting words echo in my head driving me crazy
why dont people like me for who i am i dont understand
oftentimes i go home and cry because the words hurt me so
aaaaah im screaming internally because im so confused
Sometimes i wish it was all just a horrible nightmare but it's not
It's real and it can be quite a painful struggle
all i want is to belong and to do ¨normal things¨
There is no cure it s a part of me
It's my autism spectrum disorder