I suddenly have difficulty breathing as my throat begins to close,
Everyone around me is looking at me, but no one here fully knows.
That being in an unconventional environment is a trigger for me,
But I have a disease that no one can physically see.
My heart feels like it is going to stop,
And it suddenly begins to beat so fast that it feels like it is going to pop.
My chest suddenly locks up, and it is the scariest feeling that I have ever felt,
But it is a pain that I have that must be delt.
I was a striaght A student until the disease took that away from me,
And now I have trouble sitting in class and learning to just be.
No one around me fully understands what I feel,
But I have learned ways that allow me to just deal.
But no one gets it, that is all that I am ever allowed to do,
That I am not present in the moment, because I don't know how to.
I lost so much because of this disease, but I need to take my power back,
Because these are skills that I know I do not lack.
The last five years I have lost a lot because I lived in such fear,
But I am not going to do that anymore, and I am going to be here.
This disease expects me to lose,
But from here on out I have the power to choose,
That I will no longer be a victum and do what has to be done,
Because this disease doesn't know it yet, but I have already won.