When you live with anxiety for so long it almost becomes a routine in your head.
Like a clock ticking in the background as you try go along with your day ignoring the thoughts that still exist in your head.
When you first start feeling all those thoughts and emotions they overwhelm you.
You don't know what is happening. You're in a state in confusion, and it feels as if you were dropped with weights shackled onto your ankles into an ocean of voices and people.
You just need to get away. You just need to survive.
But, the more you struggle to keep afloat the more you tire yourself out and fall deeper into the abyss of all the thoughts of dread.
You just feel as if every thought in your mind is like a school of fish zooming past you.
And when you think it's over and you release yourself from the shackles of your own mind. You're often emotionally and physically drained.
Like your soul was vacuumed out of your body, or like coming home after sprinting a marathon. Being able to live another day, but struggling to find the strength to fight through another.
But as you deal with anxiety for years, and go through the good days and terrible cloudy days. There will be a time where you acquire enough self growth to finally focus on what's at hand, and the once ticking clock will start to fade away as you start to slowly take control of your surroundings.
Until one day you become the shark that swims fearlessly through the sea of anxiety. Eating your way through the school of fish, disregarding the fear of your own thoughts as you realize that, now, you're on top of your own food chain.