Am I Really Here?

"Last I heard she watched Spongebob, now it's NPR news. Last I heard she depised Jermey, she's now dating him. Last I heard she wanted to do everything the popular kids did, now not so much. Last I heard she hated speaking in crowds, now she's the life of the party. "I don't want to go to school" became "Hurry, I don't want to be late for school". Glittered t-shirts left the chat while striped crop tops ruled it. Pig tails became a thing of the past and bob cuts were soon discovered by her. Losing interest in the things she used to care about became the norm. Last I heard she wasn't a child anymore. Last I heard she was I."

"The moment I realized I wasn't a child anymore took more or less about a year. I realized this when I entered my economics class in the begining of this year (senior year). That class was a breakthrough to the world around me. That class taught me everything I needed to know about after high school or at least gave me an idea. Even now as the school year comes to an end, I feel the presence of adulthood breathing over me. With all of knowledge from my economics teacher as well as my Government teacher, I feel somewhat prepared. Trust me life after High School is no piece of cake, but this was bound to happen. Might as well give life a running start."

"Why is it that I feel nonexistent? Is it because of our presidential candidates? Is it because our world is dying? Or is it because we are forced to cooperate with small-minded characters? I must say our generation is least concerned about our future. We don't see reason to argue with our hard-headed ancestors. There is easy way to change what society thinks is correct. Why try if no one listens? Why care so much? When there are ignorant people who do the complete opposite."

"I know what I want to be when I grow up. I mean the answer is obvious, I want to be a chef who never makes a decision. I want to be a president who never stands up. I want to be a teacher who never learns. I want to be an astronaut who never adventures. I want to be an actress who never is believable. I want to be doctor who never heals. But most of all, I want to be myself without the ME."

"My first experience as a somewhat adult was at my appointment after my eighteenth birthday. It had been two weeks since then and I had to do a physical. My mom had made me go to the receptionist and I checked myself in. The doctor no loger looked to my mother for information, it more me to my mother. I believe that was the moment that I felt myself drifting into adulthood. I enjoyed it but then didn't. It was a change that I didn't know how to deal with. The next time was at the DMV, I had gotten my ID. It was the most pressure I had felt in a long time, but I guess life will be filled with those moments." 

 

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