Alice

Push and pull
Bring me closer
And further
From death
And life.
I have neither.
No life can be happy
With the thought of an end
No death can enjoy
Any aspect of life.
 
I am the in between.
In a wonderland of my own creation
In a dream-like state
Where angels cut you down
Unmerciful
Demons bring you bandages
To dress their wounds
Time is irrelevant
Space is relative
Joy can kill
And pain keeps you alive.
 
There is no reality
Like mine.
There is no happiness
Like that of my Wonderland.
I am the silent killer
Who lets you live
Because you are a part
Of this Wonderland.
 
I am the girl
Of a million names!
Crazy
Filthy
Angel
Dear
Whore
Princess
Life
Death
Demon
Child
Devil Spawn!
All names
Assigned for your benefit.
All charades
Masks I take off
And put back on.
None of you know
My real name.
I am the Master of this Wonderland
The Queen,
The King
The Just and the Terrible!
 
I am in control
And yet I have no power!
The Demons control my joy
The Angels give me pain.
I am the Dominant
And the Submissive.
 
I am the Wonderland you live in
The death you crave.
I am life
I am justice
I am Intent!
Determined to live
As I slowly die.
 
I am GOD!
I am your QUEEN!
I will never die
And never stop crying!
 
I am the push and the pull!
I will end your life
And give you a new one
In one fatal swoop.
 
I am the angel of mercy
And of death!
I will die
Every morning
And kill
Every night!
 
I am the Pain you scream with
The joy you cry with!
 
Beg me to be merciful
And I will be cruel!
A vindictive force
Pushing and pulling you
Into my lap!
 
I am your mother
And I am your executioner.
I will die to protect you
And be your utter demise.
 
I will whisper a scream
And walk a dance!
Fuck your sensibilities!
I am the Omnipotent ruler of your soul!
 
My Wonderland
Of chaos and blood
Dances among knives and madness!
I love it
I love it
I love it!
The MADNESS!
THE MADDNESS!!!!
ALL IS LOST!
ALL IS AT AN END!
FUCK THE WORLD!
ALL IS DEAD
 
I will end this all
And recreate it
Because I can
Because I choose to.
Because fuck you.

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