The 5 Stages of Grief - An Original Poem By Evelynn Lammlin

No, its ok

Nothing happened

Everything is great

Everyone’s happy

I’m so happy

Her? No, she’s fine

No no trust me she’s ok

Yeah, she’s fine why do you ask?

No that’s just a rumor

She’s just on vacation

Yes I’m positive

No, they’re lying

She’s ok

Of course, she’s alive

She’s perfect

She’s as beautiful as ever

She’s as happy as could be

She’s… Great!

Right?

No, it’s not my fault

She left me

Alone

Angry

Afraid

How could she do this?

Why would she leave me here?

She left me to rot

She left me to die

I hate her

I’m glad she’s gone

She was pretty rude

And Bossy

And unforgiving

And rebellious

And Loud

And aggressive

But...

No! She left me

And it’s her fault

She was being stupid

She just wanted attention

What a Bitch

Right?

But what if we had found her quicker

What if I had told her I loved her more

What if I let her win more games

What if her boyfriend replied to her text

What if someone had helped her with that math problem

What if she had gotten a better grade on her book report

What if her teacher didn’t call on her that one time she didn’t know the answer

What if her ex-boyfriend didn’t text her last week

What if I didn’t yell at her that one time she stole my phone

What if her dad hadn’t taken away her phone

What if her mom didn’t ground her

What if she hadn’t quit gymnastics

What if she had a different friend

What if her brother didn’t dump his girlfriend

What if we hadn’t left for so long

What if she came with us

What if the police came quicker

What if the ambulance had driven just a little bit faster

What if we found out her plan before

What if we cleaned her room like she asked

What if she had gotten what she wanted for her birthday

What if we never went out

It’s my fault

Right?

I miss her

I need her

Why didn’t she say anything

I didn’t deserve her

She was too perfect

And beautiful

And smart

And funny

And cool

I don’t think I can go on

I miss her so much

I can feel the pain in my chest

The scars are showing

The pain is easier to see

The meals are getting inconsistent

My eyes water a lot more

The tears are far from over

I’m crying so hard

Nobody cares

Nobody would notice

I’d see her again

I should follow her footsteps

Just end it

Right?

I get it

She didn’t leave

It was a mistake

I saw her today

I apologized

And told her everyone misses her so much

She’s here with us

Protecting us

The pain still gets to me

But it’s getting easier

I still miss her

But it’s normal

It’s not her fault she felt the way she did

It’s not her fault she took so many pills

I get it

It’s not her fault she wanted to leave

She loved us

She still does

I wonder if she regrets it?

I hope not

I hope she’s happy

Her parents still don’t get it

But they will

I bet she’s really happy

Right?

Right

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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