So tired of living like this.
Need to get away.
Want to say so many things.
How can I say it shorter?
How can I even say it?
When I am confronted?
Or do I confront?
Something has to give.
I don’t need to be disciplined.
I need to get away.
How can I change?
How does anyone change?
Breathing only reminds me of my anger.
It is hard to stay calm in the midst of conflict because I fear for my own life.
If that person dies and I am still angry, then will I know that I need more than to just get away….
Questions Questions Shut Up with the Questions.
I don’t want to think.
I just want to get away, even if it means my own demise.
No one will be there to stop me from destroying myself.
I don’t need obstacles.
I need peace and calm that cannot be garnered from death.
No, you will suffer.
And it will be the best revenge.
And I will not have to lift a finger.
You will be the source of your own deep depression and pathetic state.
I will not be your fodder to make yourself feel better about yourself.
I was never a victim.
I prayed for you, but inevitably all I had to do was depart from your side.
Help me to never return.
I fear I can no longer change.
But I will fake it until I make it.
I don’t need a sprightly outlook.
I need truth.
And all of this I will give instead of a fake facade.
I am done being nice and believe me, I was being nice.
Why can I not be genuine.
My feelings will be known.
I will no longer drown in yours.