It took me nearly 8 months.

8 months down the drain
all because i couldn't see 
that you didn't really love me. 
you used me and 
you lied to me and 
you put me down and 
you made me feel insignificant. 
you told me you loved me 
and at first
i made you more nervous than anyone ever has. 
you made me feel like i meant something to someone. 
you made me believe
i wasn't by myself in this world. 
all the while, 
when i was with you 
i never felt more alone. 
you never cared about me 
or what i had to say 
or how i felt or what my plans were 
or what i wanted to do 
or where i wanted to go. 
these past 8 months I've followed you around 
like you were the most important person, 
because to me you were/are. 
we always went where you wanted to go 
and did what you wanted to do 
and you always had some kind of complaint or argument. 
i don't remember a day  
i didn't get an attitude from you 
or something wasn't my fault 
when i was only giving you a solution.

8 months of this before i realized you were a liar. 
you never loved me. 
you told me once 
that loving someone and being in love with them 
was the same to you.
you never loved me at all.


i'm moving half way across the country
in 6 days.
and you blew me off yesterday.
and i haven't seen you in 3 days, as is.
and i'm not going to see you again for a long time
and you told me you didn't want to lose me, even after i leave.



you're losing me.