Don't know how to feel

Got this confusing and overwhelming zeal

I don't like it, not one bit

All I know is:  happy- it is not what I'm getting

I just wis I could start over, start forgetting

The redo/undo button

Because I just don't want my particular life

All its pain, grief, and strife

Cuts into my well-being like a sharp knife

It sucks more- how nobody know it's like

Alone, I have to fight these battles

I'm frightened for my future

How/If my depression psuhed me further down

I'm angry at how I let this happen

I self-pity, beacuse that's just how I feel

I wanna cry

Because I don't know what to do

And IDK how to feel