Sometimes things happen that aren’t supposed to.

It snows in april

A weed grows in january,

Winter overstays its welcome

A child is born by accident.

And the father cannot stay.

So he goes to live a new life

And the child is left

With the burden to bare                                                    

And she cannot seem to want herself

For he did not want her

She grows up grieving someone who is not dead

Someone who exists somewhere outside of her reality.

No one could keep her safe

From the turmoil of the world

So she learned to keep herself safe

Amongst the danger

And the fear grew

And turned into a monster

That came out at the most unbearable times

So she fought her demons

And wiped her tears

And began the journey home

To herself

And who she really is,

As a daughter, a sister, a friend.

She took a deep breath

She saw that home was not a person

It was inside herself all along.

Even the worst days only have twenty four hours,

Is what she told herself

And she was more kind to the world

And more kind to herself

 

When she moved past her anger

Into a realm of forgiveness.

She saw that she deserved more than a painful love

More than a love that left when things got difficult

More than heartache.

She stopped searching for him

Because the less she found the less she loved herself.

And she grew

Like a garden in the spring

Because she had struggled for so long

To move past the weeds

And reach the sunlight.

And it was the best warmth she had ever felt.

She had overcome it all.

She was new and better and

Most of all

She was at peace with the world

And with her thoughts

The girl was me

And it has taken years

And many people

And many places

But I have become myself

Unlike ever before.