I found the feeling of love in a teenage boy, deep in his caramel eyes.

The warmth I felt when I stared kept me warm through those cold October nights

The way he whisked his words so carefully and spoke a symphony between his lips

Every word he spoke was as if it was written in a script

He made me feel like I was on top of the world, while he had all the power over me

Love makes you blind, it’s something we often do not see

On a late December night, you pulled me close and whispered in my ear

It was something so special, but something to fear

One word, four letters, love. And I did without a doubt

Later that December, I called you, filling your phone with cries and shouts

Screaming out one word, four letters, stay. You didn’t

After careful consideration, I declare your love unbidden.

 

Darkness followed me like a shadow, peeking around every corner it could find.

It seemed no matter how far I try to run, I cannot escape the shadow that fall behind.

At night when it wasn’t visible, my shadow brought some friends.

Oh god, what did I do to deserve this?

The frostbite on the ground left a frozen layer below

Just like the frostbite on my heart, but no one can even know

I push them all away and say that love is not real

The feeling in the air on February fourteenth was something I would never be able to feel

I sat in my bed all hours of the day trying to get some sleep

But school and jobs and sports and life would not let that happen to me

“Get a 4.0," they pushed "it’s the only way you’ll survive"

But the problem here is that I think I’m already out of time

 

April Shower after shower, rain crashed down.

Along, it brought thunder and lighting and had the earth bow down

Much like the tears on my face and my angry screams I let loose

I felt like my own words and thoughts were becoming my noose

Was that gravity pulling me down or the depression setting in

I didn’t matter either way, my thoughts left me flooded in

April showers bring may flowers is a saying I held true

The flowers that grew inside me were finally starting to bloom

I could feel the roots digging deep, not wanting to let go

I just had to keep watering myself and the progress would begin to show

The darkness would fade away as I let the sunlight in

Is this my next chance for happiness again?

 

I have found purpose hidden in cracks of a broken heart

I have found love when I was stuck hidden in the dark

I have found blooming flowers that bring confidence and self-love

I have found that there is no wrong answer to who I may become