look at me, look at me and tell me,
what do you see?
Short hair and a wide smile.
Glowing skin and big brown eyes.
I am me.

I am my father’s short temper
and my mother’s contention

I am my grandmother’s anxiety
and my grandfather’s apathy.

I am shaking hands and brittle lips.
I am stretch marks and curved hips.
I am wrists full of relapsing stories
and broken stanzas of “I’m fine."

I am my failures and my deepest flaws.
I am doctor visits and medications.
overdoses and intoxication.

I am withholding my emotions until the end of this controversy.
controversy against myself, for I am no longer aligned.

I am at death’s door, debating, procrastinating the time I have left.
I am playing with fire, and the caged tiger.
I am fearful and provocative.
I am a waiting cardiac arrest... An explosive bomb threat.

I am angry and full of rage.
I am naïve and infatuated.

I am a faintly beating heart.
A weak girl.

I am a skeleton and a brain.
I am cells and insane.
I am atoms and veins.
Deteriorate and degenerate,
I am stuck in my past.

Hello, this is me.

I am my mother's pride,
And my sisters reflection.

I am standing tall at Mt. Everest.
I am new and improved.
I am sobriety.

I am a beautiful mess, with no way of knowing what to expect.
I make mistakes and I pick up after myself, but I am no longer filled with remorse and shame.

I have accepted my deep written flaws
my big hips and curves.

I am content and at peace.
now tell me, what do you see?