I feel like I am drowning,

like I am suffercating under the

silence,

under the last breath I breathe

as I choke out a tear,

I thought it was going to be so perfect,

I thought that maybe this time I got it

right,

this time I belong somewhere,

but naturally good things dont happen to me,

naturally I find some way to fuck something

good up,

maybe happiness will never be for me,

maybe I am meant to just ruin everything for people.

Sometimes I wake and wonder why am I even

breathing,

why am I still alive,

I believe tons of great people died....

I would give my life for someone because I don't like

who I am,

standing on the ledge of the river,

stepping closure and closure to the edge

I wonder what it would be like,

to just jump,

to just die,

happiness leaks out of my skin and heart

and into someone else,

I wish I could rip my heart out of my chest

so I could stop the bleeding,

so I could stop the hurting,

stop the thinking and pain,

pain of somedays,

Wishing I could go someone,

anywhere,

elsewhere than inside my own skin