I Thought I Loved You
Because I love you
My insecurities do not compare to yours
I try to validate my thoughts and learn not to speak my mind
You have control over my life
Because I love you
Every night my thoughts wander to the tiniest mistake I could have made to upset you
I know I am not perfect and I appreciate the reminder
The unbearable pain in my lower region means you’ve proved your love for me
Because I think I love you
I am ok with having to remind you why you love me
I understand I can be a problem at times
Just please stop shouting I am a liability it’s making me feel
Well I don’t think I know how to feel anymore
I do not know if I love you
People are starting to notice the bruising
My family and friends are questioning if I’m Ok
Why can’t they see I’m happy?
Why can’t I find anything to reassure them I’m happy?
Because I loved you I no longer Know what love is
I finally found the courage to leave you
But I feel like you still won
I no longer understand feelings and trust
You took all of that with your luggage
I am empty and you are off somewhere being loved my someone new
I felt my happiness and purpose in life become I distant memory
Because I loved you
I have grown a disguise built on anger and disgust with myself
Because you told me you loved me all my relationships stop after the first touch
Thank you for your time
I have decided love is something maybe not everyone can have myself included
Because I love you…that phrase doesn’t make much sense to me