It’s almost impossible to weed out the roots you planted in me

The seeds of hope that you’d get better

The promises that you weren’t going to leave us

 

Living without you is not getting any easier

Missing you never gets any easier

 

The pain doesn’t get any duller,

The sinking feeling, like I just punched in the stomach

doesn’t get any softer

 

I just get used to it I guess

 

The hardest part,

Isn’t remembering, the good times

And reminiscing about the memories we shared

The hardest part,

Is remembering that it’s all over, and no matter

how long I wait you’re not ever, going to be there

 

But that doesn’t stop, my mind from playing

cruel jokes, tricks, games

 

Things keep happening, and I always find myself

waiting until I see you,

wishing I could tell you about it

It’s easy to forget, that you’re never coming back.

 

I miss you alot more than I realized.

 

When I reach for my phone,

I forget for a second that there isn’t

going to be a message from you,

Telling me you miss me,

Or calling me punk,

Not anymore

And that’s, when it hurts

 

When I read things about, college kids coming home, on break

I forget, for a second

That you’re not just away at college

And that you’re not ever, coming home

That’s, when it hurts

  

It’s the times that I’m walking down, the streets

that run by your house, a route that I never dreamed

I would ever, be taking by myself

That’s when it hurts

 

It’s not standing at your graveside that, bring me any pain.

It’s hearing your voice, on that final, message you sent

It’s holding your sweatshirt close

Desperately, deluding, myself into thinking-that it’s almost the same

as before, we lost you

Tricking myself into thinking i can still catch your lingering scent

 

Searching, searching, searching for something, anything

to hold onto, that will make me feel close, to you-again

 

I miss you more than I realized.

 

It’s the flicking through my playlist, and hearing, your favorite song

It’s remembering, your wide goofy smile

When you spotted me, in the halls

That’s when it hurts

 

I miss you, so much more than i realized.

But it is, getting easier

The pain, is getting duller

The memories don’t begin to fade

There’s no more stabbing pain, when standing at your grave

I’m still honoring the final promise, we made

 

I still miss you, more than i realized

But I’ll see you again someday