I

 

 

Alexander K Opicho

(Eldoret, Kenya;aopicho@yahoo.com)

 

 

I love life, because in living you get all problems

I love eating because you can constipate if you eat a lot,

I love women because they reduce pocket giants to beggars,

I love children because they instill economic tension to parents,

I love trees because green snakes derive poison from them,

I love poor people because their life is pure experiment,

I love rich people because they snobbishly love themselves

I love motor vehicles because they depreciate in a decade,

I love Americans because they have drones for Gaddafi,

I love Americans because they know nothing beyond their borders,

I love the British because they have a monarch in their democracy,

I love Europeans because they were perfect in colonialism,

I love Africans because they are natural stooges, but very showy

I love the Chinese because they are all short, young and commutalists,

I love the Catholic Church because it has liberal piety,

I love Muslims because they are not intellectually tolerant to Rushdie,

I love young girls because they rarely sense danger,

I love Germans because they made a beetle car; Volkswagen,

I love the Japanese for honesty; they declared me Shinto of poetry,

I love my wife for her spendthrift culture

I love my son for his disgust of school and books,

I love myself for being a poetic rapscallion,

I love everything for in love you display your folly,

I love music, wine and money; they expose you to the robbers

I love short people for their mediocrous thought pattern

I love tall women; they are dull, honesty and rarely divorce,

I love English hunchbacks for they are famed for being erotically strong.