I don't know what to call it
My peers are nice enough
But I feel their judgment on me heavily.
We laugh and joke
But sometimes
most of the time
no one talks to me.
I sit alone in silence
Or work on my homework
Or listen to music
so loud I can't hear them having fun without me.
I pretend its ok when there's no one with me,
That its ok when they leave me alone to talk to someone else
Someone funner than me
prettier than me
better than me.
I know that they may not see it this way
That not getting invited to gatherings doesn't hurt
That being ignored doesn't hurt.
To that I say "TRY IT."
Its not intentional,
but it hurts.