Took me 30 years 
Then finally realized 
Just about everyone lies 
Surrounded by spies 
Just snakes in disguise 
And Nobody is your friend 
Until they defend your name 
in your absence 

They never give Your 

 haters satisfaction 
If you ever need them 
They ready to take action 
With passion no askin questions 
I’ve learned many lessons 
About making exceptions 
How these connections 
Threatens my very essence 
And I need guidance yea 
 
I needed directions 
My imperfections, 
No ability no affection 
And this depression 
I been suppressing 
Always second guessing 
Questioning if it’s lesson 
Possibly a blessing 
Stressing always guessing 
Obsessing it’s depressing 
A blessing would be refreshing 
Regretting the years  

I spent injecting 
The pills I was ingesting , 
Expecting profit when investing 
Betting with my life 
Thought it would be interesting 
but only disgusting 
The man I was becoming 
Could only cope by numbing 
trying to make something 

Out of nothing 
 
 Low key wanted fame wanted clout 

Something I no longer care about 
I can live without but  net worth 
Rest assured I want to be secured 
If I get injured I’m not insured 
If I got sick getting cured 
I couldn’t no longer afford  

not no more 
 
Why is this happening again 
Cannot get out of my head 

Can't get out of my bed 
Somethings better left unsaid 
Can’t believe I did what I did 
My personalities get split 
Brain receptors transmit 
When they Get hit with that 
bullshit that 3 years prior  

I quite Tired of being misled 
Can’t get out of my bed 
The thin line that I thread 
Sheets soaked from the sweat 
Karmonic debts is what I get 
I’m my own worst threat 

 
 Feeling like a failure 
My life willing to wager 
Ignored all the danger 
Knew I need to change or 
War I was in for 
Lost hope in my lord 
and savior this behavior 
Is not in my nature 
Broken, lost I’m a failure 
All I wanted was a house 
On an acre a on a lake with a boat dock 

 on a lake to take to fish or browse 
Go fish when time allows 

Scenery I’ll go browse 
 
Not much time ahead of me 

So many goals never achieved 
Life got the best of me 
Always testing me, 
haven't done anything successfully  
questioning my destiny 

Wishing for prosperity 

What is the possibility 

I need; some clarity 

Cause this disparity 

Got me needing therapy 

I'm mentally exhausted 

Chemically living recklessly 

Feel like no one's listening.