internal battle

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the insides of me feel like they are forging  clawing at the internal sides of my rib cage frantic panics hidden under the layers of sensibility i am too practical too logical 
How do I describe this feeling? There are no words. No words. Words are scary. You might say the wrong thing. "No." "I like it." "This is me." "I'm fine." "Go away."
Behind the curtain Beneath the skin it's different than what's in front Out for others to see Eye contact feels like lasers When people are staring, it feels like the world is closing in
Who's hiding behind the locked door? No one seems to hear me. Who's behind the curtain? No one seems to see me. Who's hiding behind mask? No one seems to see who I really can be.  Why are you hiding? 
All my life I’ve been taught one thing And that one thing was to be tough Ever since I was a tiny human being First, bad words and fists. It was never enough. Having a childhood in my house was never easy
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