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Most Days by: RalB most days i felt worthlessi felt irreplaceablelost in what was & what could’ve trying not to be numbbut being is so superbunsure & uncertain most days i felt broken i felt helpless calling out into the darkness silent p
Your saliva, it resonates on my lips.
It's cold, it's wet, it reeks with the scent of your breath -
it seeps into the cracks of your skin, into mine.
I sit stiff yet you kiss and kiss.
I don't want this.
Dear Ex-Girlfriend,
I would have put your name
But that seemed too real for me.
What would be such a relief to me is if this were just a sappy break up letter, but.
It’s not.
I hear myself say it too often.
I probably just fucked up again.
Maybe you broke me,
again.
Perhaps it's my astonishment, quite possible since I'm great.
Until you tell me I'm not.
As red falls, I can’t help but cry for days.
The five stages, a sign of hope, seems fake.How can you be happy when all decays?
Cut me open like you do those scars on your wrists.
You use to hate the sight of blood,
But now the sting and crimson oozing from your wrist has become your favorite addiction.
I cry silently,
Two liquids pool on the floor.
I never want to wake up, I
Never want to implore
The sadness of my
Being.
The emptiness I am
Feeling.
"Help!" I cry inaudibly
The act of ignoring someone is: refusing to take notice of or acknowledge them When you're ignored, you learn to live in a world of silence.
What is a poet?
Me, you, the world.
What’s it to me?
I tell a tale
With words and thoughts
Muddled together as a I talk and sing.
Trying to get people to understand
The world within me.
I let my breath goPlease don’t let me be a statisticI cry into my mothers arms, the first time I told her of my abuse.I refuse.I will not let someone else feel what I have felt.
I have no grip to the ground on this earth
The rubber on the soles of my shoes is worn down
Nothing ties me down to the trees
To the dying flowers
To the muddy grass
And gravity is nothing more than a nuisance
Alone upon the wreckage,
Broken hearts on either side,
The dark distorted crater,
Where my last hope came and died.
The darkness all around me,
Not cut through by the light,
My solo isolation,
Mistrust and suspicion rule in my brain
They run cross country inside my heart.
Loud thumping, mind racing, loosing the control
Your breaths quicken and your sight blurs.
One
The first is always the hardest. You have to push yourself into it. Cutting into innocence, cutting into your soul. At first it stings but soon it subsides and you crave the lingering feeling of control.
“Faggot.”
“Lesbo.”
I am scared of these hallways.
These white walls haunt me and I dread entering them.
Let me loose.
Gay rights?
They don’t exist here.
“Welcome to Hell” the sign should say.
My heart is a dull thud in my chest. Drained from all life, it struggles to beat once, twice,
Sometimes,
things hit a little too close to home
too close for comfort
other times,
things hit home
with a resounding boom,
you'll hear everything come crashing around you
Slit my wrists and hope to die
Not for one more second do I want to have open eyes
Leave this world eternally
Sleep forever, oh so blissfully
No more worries to keep me up
No reason to give a fuck
Is it too much to ask
To ask for a space
Where a girl feels like saying ‘No’
Wouldn’t be out of place?
To see a court case
Everyday I come home crying.
Everyday I hate myself a little more.
Everyday I hope to die.
Everyday my limits are pushed.
Everyday I am laughed at, taunted, and abused.
Everyday I hope I don't wake up.
Drowning in the confusion that is my soul.
Begging for mercy, from this unknown path that I'm taking.
Reflecting numbness, but I'm only searching for it, always calling out in the night.
