'hopeless'

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i'm giving up, i guess he won't notice anyway taking space is my revolt it wouldn't work if i tried   i've been trying so hard to actually talk to him but anxiety takes form as my shadow
i'm not into fit muscular guys who have the perfect body and perfect smile i'm not into form fitted clothes suits and collars ties too tight   i'm into 
i don't want to be in love with you i don't want to look at you i don't like knowing love because it hurts more than anything   you don't even know these poems are mostly about you
it's hard writing this part it's hard even thinking about this part in my life it's hard living when I think about what I went through. but the hardest part? is that it won't ever go away. I have nightmares.
We have broken down each other so much that no one can stand on their own two feet without falling down into despair and hope to never comeback up.  
Stars Stars in the skies, but I can’t reach that high I’m drunk for the hell of it   I’d miss you when you’re gone But you’ve been gone so long
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