A Year, a Lifetime, a Secret

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 14:24 -- mirwood


A year;

To you,

It has been a year.

A year ago it happened.

When the words were yelled,

When the words were hushed.

You stood there,

Silent as a fearful rabbit.

I frantically packed,

Called my mother.

Cried so hard I thought I would drown.

You stood there.

Taking her side.

Letting me go,

Because you knew you couldn’t stand up for me.


A lifetime;

To me,

It has been a lifetime.

A lifetime, and yet only a day ago.

Everything about that hated day,

Is remembered in vivid detail.

From the spit flying from her screaming mouth,

To your innocent shrug when she asked you,

If I was a terrible child.

You think after your first child,

You would learn to protect them better.

A lifetime and a day ago,

I was suicidal.

Today, I am worse.


A secret;

The secret to life is to hide.

Hide from your fears,

Hide from your mistakes,

Hide from everything and everyone.

If they catch on about you,

About me,

We’re out of luck.

You hide from your fear of her,

I hide from the fear of myself.

Of what I could do to myself.

No one must know or talk of these things,

It is how everyone was raised.

To be happy,

To smile,

To help others in rough times,

To AVOID problems.

To EXEMPT from fixing them.

Life is full of secrets.

Ours is a story to hide.

A secret that happened a lifetime,

A year,

A day ago.


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741